Control

Tried to self harm.
Alarm!
No pain could gain.
No guts to cut.

Tried to drop out of school.
Too cool.
You fool!
No luck. Got stuck.

Tried to disorder my eating.
That took a beating.
Bulimia was fleating.
Anorexia couldn't stop cheating!

Smack and crack.
Too whack!
Speed was fun.
For a short run.

Tried to drown in drink.
But couldn't sink.
Met bad men to undress me.
But none could suppress me.

Thank-you to my inner protector.
My substance rejector.
My inner jerk.
Too hard you worked!

Could have blissed out in oblivion.
But you helped me live again.


xxx